bone in sub

two hilarious things from work today:

early in the day, i’m at the front and at the end of a conversation with a female customer my age, i ask if she needs anything else. she responds “well…are you for sale? hehe.” wow.

later, a woman and her young son are buying things while i’m doing money stuff at the front. i wasn’t involved in it at all, but i heard the entire thing – the mom was trying to be funny the ENTIRE TIME, in that awful unfunny middle-aged woman way. the cashier was laughing a little bit just to be nice while i was basically shuddering. eventually the kid, who was eight years old at the oldest, speaks for the first time with “mom, you aren’t funny.” “well why do i constantly get laughs?” “they’re pity laughs. people pity you. you’re really not funny.” that was AMAZING, the kid was perfectly right and also in second grade.